What if…

…things lasted forever? That kind of forever when you were six years old and have met your first best friend?! Who was going to be your best friend forever. That’s what people tell me happens anyway, I didn’t have a best friend at six years old.

Happiness, is such a finicky little thing. Huge in the grand scheme of things, but little when we think about what we need/want in our materialistic world. In my life, it is something I strive for. It is very important to me and I want others to be happy. What I’ve learned about happiness, I’ve learned through sorrow; that it comes and goes.

I can be happy one minute, something happens, and sad the next. I can feel fantastic, but have a layer of sadness, that eventually disappears. I can be so upset, that I don’t ever want to be happy again or can’t even think of a time when that will come. Happiness takes many different forms in my life, I’m sure yours too.

“Hi, how are you?” I really want to know. Even if you’re shitty, sometimes literally, I want to know how you are. Even if you want to tell me you’re bad, but then say “I don’t want to talk about it.” That’s okay too. You don’t even really have to say anything either, I speak body language.

Yesterday, I had a great day! It was a P.A. Day, we had four kids join us, one sibling, a mom and dad, five staff and two volunteers. It was busy, but fun! Today, after a busy Saturday, getting some bad news, and then hearing a friend is under the weather, I feel that dark grey of sadness around my happiness. Contemplating how to sit with that, is tough. You don’t quite know which way to go.

Sadness creeps in from moment to moment, reminders are all around and keeping it to yourself kills you, but telling others doesn’t really make you feel better either. I guess it comes down to time…”to everything there is a season, a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance…” Time heals what it can handle.

As for happiness, I’ll see you today, tomorrow and the next day too! Sneak in at different times during the day, so that I feel complete. Don’t fight the dark grey too much though, it’s good for me to know you both or I might not know you as well.

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