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My brother would have been gone for eleven years this past November 6th. Over the years I have lost friends, clients, a grandmother and a parent of a client I work with, all in November. Not all in the same year. My brother was buried on November 11 (he was a soldier to me), oh and my birthday is today, along with the twenty of my friends who I share November birthdays with. None the less, November lies in my heart happy and shaken.

I wanted to post something about my brother’s death, but as I write, I think I will post something about his life!

Something great about birthdays is that everyone wishes you good wishes on your special day, treats you nicely, you may go shopping or be taken to dinner. My mom would always plan some restaurant birthday celebration for me when I was young, twelve and under. The cake would come out, the waiters came over to sing, my brother would put his head on his tray connected to his wheelchair, as if he was going to take a nap. He never really liked that part, just seemed boring to him. I must admit, I hated that part too. As I got older, I would fake smile, blow out the candles and hope the crowd at our table would leave. One time or more, I even snuck off to the washroom, to escape the embarrassment I felt. I usually saw them coming in the reflection of a picture hanging in the restaurant.

My brother was really great at giving me good wishes, making me feel special and doing things for me all through the year. It was like he took a break on my actual birthday, so that other people could get a chance. How did he do this you ask, he taught me valuable lessons, played with me, drove me nuts, made me remember what love was, would always give me the right stare (speaking with his eyes) when I needed it and most of all, made me feel like I couldn’t do wrong. We all need someone like that. I miss him today and everyday.

Lesson, always find the good in you, even when it’s not your birthday. Your actual day will be that much more special.

Sibling

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