I find in my work, I attend a lot of funerals. Until recently it was for children that I have supported. Two years ago I attended a funeral for the mother of a child, now adult that I support. That was a hard one in so many ways.
I believe when someone dies, we lose them physically, but not spiritually or soulfully. They stay alive through the people that loved them. The biggest way is through memories of them.
I remember every funeral I have ever been to, including my Aunt’s when I was about 6. Death has a huge impact on the lives of people it leaves behind. You also don’t know what it’s like until it happens, but then you can’t tell anyone what it’s like either.
When my brother died, even long (three weeks) after his funeral and he had been buried, I could see him more in things, other people, situations and life’s graces. Each time someone close to me or not so close to me passes, I wonder more and more about our world. Un-answered I wonder again and then remember the important things…another child will always make me laugh, I have good friends and family to love, living is not so bad and I am lucky to be here.
So, while I am sad in the moment, I am thankful for the gift of knowing that person and all the people they have connected me to. It is harder if it is a child, but, same thing applies and I wished I knew them longer.