When we’re gone

Once someone we love dies or someone we know, we forgive them of wrong doings, remember them on special occasions, sympathize with their families, or their lives when they were here, think about the times we didn’t spend with them and change our minds about who they were when they were alive.

Today my brother has been gone for thirteen years. Lucky number thirteen! I remember meeting a young lady twenty years ago, who told me her sister had been dead for thirteen years and it scared me. I thought, I never want my brother to die and I never want him to be dead for thirteen years, as if I could separate the two.

My brother was pretty special. Not because of his ‘special needs’ but because of the person he was. I always thought of him as kind, loving and funny. He definitely did wrong in his own way. But there wasn’t anything I ever had to forgive him for. I did get mad at him, but learned to get over it, because I did annoying things to him too. When he was sad or not feeling good, I sympathized with him and always held him higher than most people in mt life, besides my mom. There was no reason to ever think of him differently once he had died. I can’t say that for everyone in my life that has died, and there have been many. How lucky I feel to have someone like that, someone who will always be good in my eyes.

Now in death, I still hold him higher than most, think about where he is, wonder what our life would be like now and love him to this day. We don’t do that for everyone in life though. We get mad at people, hold grudges, fight, say things we don’t mean, talk behind each others backs and are stubborn. If that person dies, all of it becomes obliterated. We forget what ever made us mad (in some cases), pay our respects, remember them on their birthday, death day, burial and significant places we go to that they may have been a part of.

In one way, good for you for letting it go now that the person has died. In another way, why couldn’t you have done this in life? I sometimes try to do this in life. Not persecute someone for something they might have done to me, let things go, be compassionate to someone’s situation even I am hurt in the process and have more they should listen to before they get me again.

Lets try to love each other? I know it’s hard and it may not even be important to some. But, for me, I’m going to love more, be more compassionate and cherish someone (even if I can’t agree with them or see where they’re coming from), cherish them in life! Love is everywhere!