How much are you willing to push, to get the result you want? If we are treated un-fairly, we complain, if there is an in-justice, we try to make it right or are out raged, if we are failing in school, our parents say we need to work harder. Why when you only take care of someone’s physical needs and they have a disability, does no one say, you’re not doing enough?
The effort I put in to support my clients is wholesome. It’s a yearning in my heart to treat them like any other child that I meet. A lot of people say “what do you do with them” I never understand what to answer. I usually say “what do I do with who?” They explain and ask about things like care, and that’s it. When I explain what I do and ignore the care question (because sometimes it’s private) people are floored. The reason I don’t understand their amazement, is because I wonder what people do with their own kids? They don’t only provide care? And what happens when their kids don’t need help with dressing etc, you must do other things? Well, that’s what I do, other things. I mean, who doesn’t want to go out and experience the world?! Or stay home and experience the world as the case may be.
Even my clients who are non-verbal and don’t have a specific “yes/no” communication system, I know they appreciate effort. You can just tell what they like and what they don’t. How many times have I heard “he’ll use the device for the OT, but not for me” or “he’ll walk for the dad and not for her” or “they don’t like going out with me.” You know what I say to that, TRY HARDER. Yes, sometimes the person won’t “perform” or doesn’t want to do things. I would ask why?
Supporting the children and teens can be hard, not physical burn out hard, even though that happens too. I mean brain power hard. I am using every fibre of my being to listen, respect and do right by them. Their dreams are my command. If I’ve supported a client in the classroom or at home with school work, I need to believe they can do what I’ve set in front of them to the core of my being. If I don’t believe they can do it and set them up for success, they often won’t. And some of them don’t care. They’re going to continue to go to school, encounter the same attempts, be happy in life and give love unconditionally to those around them. There is something about rising to the occasion. If the occasion hasn’t shown up, should I still rise?
People talk over my clients heads about what they can and can’t do. It makes me angry. We are so concerned with facts, science and check lists, that we can’t shut our bodies up enough to truly watch and listen to those we are hired to support.
I challenge myself and others as support staff to stop and shut ourselves up. We can talk and do a lot of things without assistance. Let’s give those that need us to understand them the floor. For any wish they may have. With everything in our beings.
This young man thought he could never be near the water. I knew he could. Trust me, I got beat up and sometimes had to run (for fun) to get him there. But once there…amazing!